Pen pal and dating

Actually I never felt this inability to express a feeling of anger due to the non-binding and open nature of this “game” before.Because how can you be mad at someone who you never met, someone whom you never spoke to, actually?Sometimes I myself may have acted like a date-phantom: you become more pretentious in this game than you may be in real life.And doesn’t it sound too desperate and random to throw out your phone number after 2 sentences and a suggestion to meet, before you ever exchanged a real thought?On the other hand: how often have you set up a date, picked the location or event, even got changed and prepared to leave the house, just waiting for the last arrangements to be made and then just NOTHING happened and you went to see your friends instead?How often have you not ever received an excuse, because: it was just nothing real, all the opportunities were left open.A quite pretty woman who lives in another country wrote to me on Ok Cupid a while back.She seemed VERY excited that I wrote back at all, even though I wrote back more out of courtesy than interest — I wrote a simple thank you — and now it seems that she is hoping to be long-distance pen pals with the hope of something growing from that, and get to know me the old-fashioned way, with letters in the mail. In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves in the iconic surfer-bro-criminal-love-story Point Break: "Vaya con Dios, brah." If that's too vague of a breakup message for you, then a simple, "That's sweet of you, but I don't have time to start a cross-country pen pal relationship. There's a sort of unspoken law on internet dating sites that says if a person replies to your message, that means they are interested in you, even if what your message actually meant was, "Thanks for the compliment about my clavicle!

Lucky for you, you've got many plausible reasons for not pursuing this kind of arrangement — with the whole living-in-other-countries bit being at the top of that list. It's spelling errors, subject-verb agreement, et cetera. Librarians get a free pass for everything, in my book (see what I did there? If you're not, then, well I suppose it depends on how bad his grammar is (I just dropped a verb at the end of that sentence, but don't claw your eyes out yet). It's text in a tiny box — who even uses complete sentences in that medium, aside from your well-meaning dad? Maybe he has normal-person thumbs and hence they slip when trying to key in the difference between who and whom.I don't want to stay in touch with her, but feel like she'd be so sad if I didn't reply. Not Okay, Cupid You need me to drop the mic for you? Let us never speak again." I don't necessarily agree with this line of reasoning, and have, on a few occasions, been known to reach across the electronic abyss for pure, non-genital-groping reasons, only to be ignored like forgotten, room-temperature gravy — but it does have a kind of logic to it.So I can see why this gal got the wrong impression about your level of interest, but regardless, it's better to nip it in the bud now so that no further miscommunications happen and she ends up feeling worse about herself. I am dating a very sweet man but his texts and G-chats are getting to be something of a dealbreaker for me. It’s never a good thing to play games with your pictures. Let women see what you look like and be upfront about it.

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Some people weren’t ready yet, others were meant to be met in real life, by chance, another day in the future.

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One thought on “pen pal and dating”

  1. And a lot of them speak English, especially the ones who are looking for a husband online. But her family will judge you when they meet you for the very first time. They want the best for their daughter and I’m sure you fulfill this criteria.