My ex boyfriend is dating an ugly girl
If and when they ever wake up and realize they’re being abused, they start looking for answers. They begin to understand that no amount of patience, love and understanding will end their wife’s or girlfriend’s abuse, they cannot “save” or “fix” Crazy, that they have issues of their own to address – particularly their willingness to tolerate abuse in a love relationship – and that it is necessary to have personal boundaries and limits in love.
Some men, sadly, will get bad advice from female-biased, enabling/apologist therapists, ministers, family and friends to be even more patient, understanding and vulnerable with their abusers and, essentially, to continue to allow their female abusers to keep abusing them and their children. Downgrade to another professional victim/abuser/loser. Sometimes, this manifests in the classic narcissist-borderline pairing, which actually works.
Find another people pleasing, rescuer, Nice Guy type who is eager to prove he’s not like the “bad men” who hurt her in the past.
Men like this will take a number and eagerly queue up for their fair share of abuse.
Meaning, Crazy doesn’t want you to help her to become a functioning, healthy, mature, responsible, gainfully employed adult.
Crazy doesn’t want to be rescued, she doesn’t want to be better if it means she has to do the work to get there and Crazy definitely doesn’t want you holding her accountable and pointing out how she creates most of her problems herself.Then you have two selfish, destructive, immature jerks to contend with while trying to nurture and protect your kids.Downgrade Boyfriends are the guys who stand by and do nothing when Crazy abuses the children or willingly become her enforcer.Abusive women and men, especially personality disordered women and men (Sociopaths, Narcissists, Borderlines, Histrionics, High-Conflict People – henceforth known as Crazy) do not do closure. It is also difficult to let go of Crazy because of the high degree of ambiguity this kind of relationship creates. How could she move on so quickly when you’re still grinding through the loss and trying to make sense of everything? This type of woman repeats the same behaviors over and over again in her relationships.She has a script in her head that she force fits new partners into whether they like it or not.