I encourage you to continue to take things slowly - and as Feeling Great said, don't try to help.All that's necessary to support is your presence, perhaps some more education and your love.But falling in love always comes with risks doesnt it. In my opinion you should feel like a million bucks already about yourself, without someone else making you feel that.Educate yourself on alcoholism/addiction, read around on SR. Thanks for your feedback, I do feel like a million bucks all on my own 😊 when I met him I wasnt looking for a relationship, i am a very happy, down to earth, independent women who doesnt need a man to make me happy.He didnt swipe me off my feed immediately but over the next few dates i started to fall hard. He told me he used to drink a lot and first i didnt click what that actually means. It is recommended that during early stages of recovery one should not date for at least one year. We spoke about it and he told me that at this stage his recovery has absolute priority. As long as he communicates with me i am backing off if he needs the space or goes for meetings etc. sometimes i wonder if i should not walk away to give him the chance to recover for at least a year before we continue to deepen our relationship. I have stayed over at his place and he has been at mine and never did i feel that he is lying to me.He is the most caring guy i have ever met, a true gentleman and i can be 100% myself. On our third date he cooked for me and we watched a movie, cuddled up and kissed. As we continued talking i he told me that he is an alcoholic in recovery and has only been 7month sober. I am not there to tell him what to do but i support him every step on the way. I didn't know anything about alcohol or drug abuse before i met him and would appreciate suggestions and help!You might also want to discover how many prior attempts at sobriety has he had? treat his recovery the same as if he played guitar, was a triathlete or had hammertoe. One thing you said possibly sums it up: "Can we pull this off?
I dont think anyone can fully prepare themselves for suddenly being with a stranger who may steal from them, lie to them, manipulate them, cheat on them.
My program had to come first for me; his, as he began to develop one; then our work together.
Much more to all this but anything that puts add feelings of added risk on top of already challenging conditions like early sobriety...a good idea, in my opinion. Do keep reading and learning....and, I think that going to alanon would be a good move.....there would be nothing to lose by doing so.... Maybe in this getting to know him phase you might want to find out, how long was he drinking prior to becoming sober for 7 months. Does it matter if someone has been drinking heavily for 2 or 10 years?
He made me feel great from the very first beginning. For your information - as far as i can see he takes his recovery serious, goes to 2 AA meetings a week, does his 12 step program, sees his sponsor and all of that.
Needless to say we decided to see each other again and went for dinner just a few days later. I have no reason not to trust him that he is serious about this.
Search for dating recovery:
After texting for just two days he asked me out for coffee.