50 after dating life mid minefields negotiating romance
Others might absolutely want -- or not want -- sex as part of another relationship." Dating dynamics More than a third of Americans over 50 are divorced, widowed, separated or have never married, according to a tally of statistics released in 2006 by the U. Philip Belove, a marriage and family therapist based in Bellows Falls, Vermont, who specializes in midlife relationships issues.
"If you have a life that you like and things you want to do and interests to pursue, maybe you don't want to sacrifice some of those priorities in order to be someone else's soul mate." This sentiment doesn't just apply to confirmed bachelors, either.
"It is time that our society's traditional thinking that disconnects old age and sex be revisited," says Ruth S.
Jacobowitz, author of "150 Most-Asked Questions About Midlife Sex, Love, and Intimacy." "We're all living longer, so our needs to relate sexually are lasting longer." But older Americans who are sexually active face health issues, too. The NIA doesn't break down transmission rates among this demographic -- for example, through drug use, heterosexual or homosexual contact -- but the institute does point out that older adults in general tend to know less than younger Americans about how HIV/AIDS is transmitted and the necessity of using condoms.
A comparable percentage had dated one or more people in the previous three years.
But of those who were dating, just 8 percent listed "to find someone to marry" as their reason for doing so.
As Margaret Murchie, a 52-year-old realtor in Honolulu, Hawaii, a self-proclaimed independent woman who dates but has never been married, puts it simply, "They have to make me happier than I am now on my own." A 2003 AARP study of 3,501 singles aged 40 to 69 showed that about one-third of those surveyed were either in a relationship or dating one person exclusively.
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Indeed, 49 percent said they were simply looking for someone "to talk to and do things with." Of course, dating isn't always easy, particularly for those who may be dipping back into the dating pool after years on the sidelines. adults aged 57 to 85 surveyed for a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine (NEJM) reported having sex at least once within the past year: Among the oldest group of sexually active adults, 54 percent were having sex at least twice a month, while 23 percent reported engaging in sex at least once a week.
But there are many ways for older Americans to meet and get to know one another, many geared specifically to their cohort: • Online dating and social networking sites, like , offer tuition waivers or discounted classes for seniors. Just as older Americans aren't letting the years stop them from dating, they're not letting it end their sex lives, either. The study published August 23 defines sex very loosely to include mutual activity that doesn't require intercourse.
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Whatever the reason for your singleness, youÂve finally decided you donÂt want to be alone. But take comfort in the fact that you are not alone, there are more than 21 million single men and women over 50 in the United States today. In her new book, Dating After 50: Negotiating the Minefields of Midlife Romance, psychiatrist Sharon Romm walks the reader through the safest and most efficient way to find dates and to begin dating again.